Why do inner child work or healing
The idea of inner child work or healing is that if you make an effort to contact or connect and communicate with your inner child he/she will tell you what he/she needs and wants. How to nurture and heal by getting to the root of issues you are experiencing now as an adult.
Benefits of inner child healing
• Accessing repressed memories and emotions from your past that repeat in adult life
• Gaining personal power – the ability to set healthy boundaries
• Learn self-love & self-care
• Being able to FEEL again, maybe there’s somethings you went numb to
• Feeling compassion, care, empathy for yourself
• Becoming your own best friend
• To be that parent/caregiver you needed when you were a child
• Gain self-confidence & self-esteem
• Being able to have fun, lighten up and enjoy life more
” In the eyes of a child, you would see the world as it should be”
Maybe as a child you were too afraid to speak up for yourself or express yourself or your feelings/emotions. So you suppressed them over and over. You burried them so deep over time, you carried on with life not even noticing or acknowledging they were there…unaware.
Later on in life, you start having issues with relationships, health or career/job.
After some time, you realise no matter what you do, there are issues that you just can’t solve. You might feel confused or helpless trying to figure out all your problems.
Then you take a step back and look, you then notice all these patterns that keep repeating. Then you wonder why? What’s going on? And ask yourself why you keep making the same mistakes or why the same situations keep on happening?
You may get frustrated or angry at yourself for not knowing how to fix or heal all your issues. Stop.
STOP feeling frustrated or angry, it’ll make it worse.
START by closing your eyes and going within – ask your inner child to come and talk to you.
He/she needs to feel safe before they will come out. So create a safe place to meet within. Your inner child needs to know you won’t get angry, that you’ll be kind, loving and patient. He/she needs to know you love and care for them….this might take time to build a trust – like all relationships do.
Go slowly and gently, so your inner child can start coming to you to communicate..remember you’ve ignored him/her for a while. So it may take a while but don’t give up. You are becoming their new parent.
Your inner child needs you to be a parent so ask yourself…how do I parent my inner child?
I know this may all seem odd or a bit childish even at first, but this is all done privately between you and your inner child. It will help you heal.
” Do not grow old no matter how long you live”
Inner child wounds
• Always feel left out
• Hates being alone
• Fears being left out
• Attracts emotionally unavailable people
• You learned to hide all your pain and fear, not wanting to be rejected or abandened
• Afraid of getting hurt
• Doesn’t trust themselves
• Doesn’t trust others
• Feels insecure
• Doesn’t feel safe
• Attract people who aren’t safe or don’t make them feel safe
• Always feel sorry or bad even when it’s not your fault
• Use guilt to manipulate
• Afraid of setting healthy boundaries
• Don’t like to ask for anything or recieve
• Attract people who make them feel guilty
• Struggles to let things go
• Low self-worth
• Angers easily
• Repress emotions
• Lack sense of self
• Difficulties maintaining relationships
• Struggle to say no
• Fears vulnerability
• Lacks trust
• Attracts people who don’t appreciate them or make them feel unseen
• Childhood traumas – leaves a child feeling shame, believing they have to hide their experiences, feelings/emotions and themselves.
• If you had to suppress all your pain and fear, you might run from good relationships later on for fear of being hurt again.
• Controlling parents – teach that they are only acceptable or loveable if they were good or perfect.
Problems caused by a wounded inner child
• Anxiety/ panic disorders • CPTSD • Depression • Anger issues/aggressive behaviour • Emotional numbness • Co-dependency • Relationships issues • Phobias • Low self-esteem • Self-sabotage • Self-criticism • Abandonment issues • Fear of rejection • Bipolar disorder • Personality disorders
“Life will bring you pain it’s your responsibility to create joy”
Working with and healing your inner child isn’t about brining up all the things your parents/caregiver did wrong. Some parents had good intentions but messed up or made mistakes….maybe their inner child was wounded? Some didn’t…I will lead that there.
It’s not about getting angry with them..learn to forgive, not for them or anyone else but for your sake, so you can find peace and healing. It’s about taking responsibility for your healing, for your life, for You. It’s about recognising that you are no longer a child and your not living that childhood anymore. It wasn’t your fault that you got hurt, but it is upto you to heal, through healing your inner child.
Tip: If you still feel anger or rage or hurt, you could write a letter to the person that hurt you, don’t sensor it just write exactly how you feel….Then burn the letter or put it through a shredder. This helps you express those emotions and then letting them go. A healthy and safe way.
Suppressed emotions may show up as
• Headaches/migranes • Chronic pain • Body tension • Skin rashes • Diebetes • Autoimmune disease • Tiredness • Constipation • Digestive issues • High blood pressure • Insomnia • Hormonal imbalance • Memory problems
Live a life to honour your inner child
START NOW to meet the needs of your inner child with love, care, compassion, patience, empathy, being expressive healthily, safety & protection, fun, play, creativity, curiosity, innocence and adventure.
Creating a relationship with your inner child helps to heal emotional problems from the past. It helps us to be creative and have vitality.
” A joyful life is made up of joyful moments strung together ”
There are lots of guided meditations on YouTube you could try for inner child healing. I’ve tried a few as I’m currently doing quite a bit of innerchild healing and living a life honouring my inner child – result: I’m starting to feel better, lighter, healthier, discovering new hobbies I enjoy and spending more time on them.
If you feel you need help or therapy, look for a therapist that deals with your type of issues and look for one that FEELS right for you.
* If you feel you need help, go seek it*
I hope you enjoyed this post and found it useful to you? Let me know.
Love Marie x